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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313387">and you, you're the brightest of all the lights</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana'>Laeana</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>┘request┌ [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Dates, Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Love, M/M, Paparazzi, Secret Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:49:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,503</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Maybe it's too much to ask, maybe becoming an F1 driver has condemned this wish, but it’s not fucking fair.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>┘request┌ [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and you, you're the brightest of all the lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"a fanfic Carlando where photos of them on a date are leaked, and during an interview they are confronted about it"</p><p>I hope I respected your topic, dear, have a good read !</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Carlos thought it was a bad idea, yes. Although it had slipped into a corner of his mind as the evening went on, as Lando turned him on a little more with a flirtatious smile and a foot sliding down his leg.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Good god, how much did he adore when his boyfriend was so enterprising.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Always there, to maintain the face, to keep this angelic image, as the youngest of the category, when he found him unbridled, devoid of all these embarrassments with him, under him, and the noises he manages to get from him ...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the middle of their dinner, he had already started to drift far, far away. Somewhere, in a dark hotel room, his own, his teammate's, whatever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Celebrating one year of their relationship which had found itself torn with uncertainties, questions, and ifs, with confinement and team changes. They were able to explain themselves, they could talk about it, really. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that's good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he doesn't want to lose Lando for stupid reasons.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had slipped his present on the table simply, towards dessert, and hadn't missed how his companion's face had lit up significantly upon seeing it. He had witnessed the whole scene.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A simple ring, so similar to the ones the other pilot often wore, except for the inscription engraved inside. An interlaced L and C. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he had pulled that exact replica chain from under his shirt and it was a promise of all that was to come and more. And, in a trembling voice, Lando had asked if they could go back to the hotel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ride back, in the back of a taxi, had been a blur, almost constant silence. He, starting a forgettable discussion with the driver, his boyfriend contemplating with emotion the ring he had placed on his ring finger, taking pleasure in it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To be honest, he loved the sight just as much as his partner, even though they couldn't. Not now, not right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someday they would.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had come down, Lando had pulled him towards him, shaking, and kissed him, a brief touch of the lips he seemed to have held back too long and they had entered the building eagerly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That's why the next day's waking- </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day’s waking was hard. Very difficult. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing to do with the course of the evening or waking up in truth. Carlos opens his eyes to a splendid vision, Lando asleep in his arms, barely covered by the sheets. He tries to extricate himself without waking him up but his arm barely withdrawn makes him move.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiles when he sees him try to open his eyes and kisses his forehead gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go back to sleep cariño, you still have time ahead of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The younger just buzzes and goes back to sleep without much protest. A perfect morning. In the idea, he should order breakfast here and-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that's when he first glances at his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dozens and dozens of calls from far too many people for him to count and the message at the top of the pile, the one his gaze inevitably falls on is Max's.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="phone">
  <p class="messagebody">
<span class="header">Max</span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text">wtf man???</span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text">Carlos?</span><br/>
<br/>
<span class="text">Answer me quickly</span><br/>
<br/>
</p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are photos attached to the message. And the photos, the photos are- are-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They date from last night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A little blurry, taken from a distance but the angle and the brightness are sufficient to distinguish what is there. Lando pulling himself up slightly on tiptoe to kiss his lips. Him, an arm wrapped around his waist. A contact of just a few seconds. The before and after photographed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Such a light kiss, barely a few seconds, and yet … yet that's what betrayed them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos falls back on the bed. Head in hands. He breathes deeply. He feels like the world is falling apart. And yet everything continues to spin, quietly. He feels torn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos ? Carlos … what's wrong ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lando sits up from his blankets and when their eyes meet he feels so helpless that he finds himself at a loss for what to say. He really wants to cry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows he's supposed to be the one handling the situation, but it's just too much. It's too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Briton seems to wake up immediately and wipes a tear from the corner of his eye with his thumb, with a gentleness that they know each other a little too well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have to … you have to look at your phone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All smiles have definitely left the younger man's face and his complexion pales when he surely discovers the messages, the words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A silence that stretches between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos, I … I'm sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All this time passed, never saying anything. Most of his family who don't know, except his sister. Keep it between them, cultivate it …</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can find a way. You could tell it was my fault, that I was drunk, I …”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes widen and he immediately looks up at his boyfriend, horrified.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What ? No ! I would never let you go alone, cariño. It's the two of us, or nothing. Against the rest of the world if necessary.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He comes forward and puts his hand on Lando's, whose expression seems to calm down. His body is shaking, he realizes. No matter how brave his teammate wanted to be, he was terrified of it. Like him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They are the same, they are always the same. There is no doubt about it. Their hearts beat in unison.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos, I don't know what to do … what do we do ? It's all my fault, I …”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It's not your fault, it could have happened anytime. Lando …”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They exchange a look. His hand comes to rest on the cheek of his partner and he comes to kiss his lips tenderly. Again and again and again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They are in it together. There is nothing to change that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They are preparing for it, step by step. They know very well what is going to happen. From the meeting with Zak and Andreas and their press agents to the decisions made to his hand in Lando's. He doesn't let go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their masks pulled back over their faces, this press conference started as usual but they know how to be careful. They have been exchanging nervous looks ever since they sat down, too far away, not close enough. He can't hold his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the end of the third question, the deadline is already coming to an end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos, Lando, I think many have seen the photos. What can you tell us about this ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sees Lando looking down and it hurts to see him like that. They decided, they made their choice. They cannot fear the consequences without having done nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I think there is a lot to be said about this, not least because it is a pretty serious invasion of privacy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos is nervous, he's sure it shows, that his accent stands out more than usual. But when he turns his head, he sees only Lando. Lando who has eyes only for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We did not want to appear publicly because we don’t think that it’s a subject which concerns anyone except us. We don't want to be a banner, we don't want to show the way, we don't want anything. We just want to live our life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes a deep breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it's too much to ask, maybe becoming an F1 driver has condemned this wish, but it’s not fucking fair.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it’s only one step forward from where everything started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want a statement on this; yes we are in a relationship and we would have liked to choose when to announce it or even if we wanted to announce it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Murmurs rise through the room and he knows full well that the rest of the interview will not be constructive. It's not something he wants to dwell on. He is above all a pilot, if he came here it is to answer questions about his job, not about his private life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gets up and goes straight to Lando who smiles at him, tenderly, before taking his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gosh, Carlos, mi … mi amor ? I can't believe you …”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lets out a small satisfied buzz when he hears his boyfriend's soft Spanish. So adorable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let's go ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos kisses the top of his mate's hand and it's just enough for him to stand up. Their hands do not come undone. Their hands do not come undone and they can keep moving forward without being afraid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They are there for each other, they do this together. With Lando by his side, sol, luz, amor, ángel … he has so many words to describe him, nothing ever seems enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And as he kisses his cheek, Lando turns to make a remark just loud enough in the confused silence that fell as reporters noticed they were leaving the room :</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But maybe if this sport was different, there would have been no fear and no secrets to keep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughs softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What audacity, in the midst of this chaos. What audacity.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is definitely not a halloween shot but ... hey, at least i posted something ? x)<br/>I wanted very much post a fic about Halloween and horror and fantastic but i didn't find time, sorry !</p><p>I'm still open for request, if ever you desire one ^^</p><p>tumblr : laeana</p></blockquote></div></div>
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